Honest Relationships Are Important

If couples simply spent some time asking each other the questions that really matter and answer them honestly, they'd greatly increase their chances of staying together.

A lot of people are scared to ask certain questions such as where do you really think you're going to end up when you die? Do you really want to have a child? If I decide to start a band would you be upset?

Lots of times even when couples do discuss these questions they're not always honest. Telling your partner you want kids before you get married because you think they would be upset if you said otherwise is trapping them into something they didn't expect.

If you are unsure tell them you are unsure. If you definitely do not want kids then tell them that it's not going to happen.

Be honest.

You will find that the happiest couples know pretty much everything about each other. They are the ones that don't complain about each other behind the other person backs because they really have nothing to complain about because they know what to expect. She knew he didn't like going out to sad movies and he knew she didn't like going to his friends' house. There's no need to complain to their friends about those things because they know where their partner stands on it.

I think that's why Dr. Phil is becoming so popular. He has that common phrase that you can fix what you don't admit. You have to admit to your partner the things you do and don't like and you have to be honest with them.

If they can't deal with honesty then the relationship is doomed anywase. Who want to be in a make believe relationship? Where one person insists that the other person is a certain way even though they've been told time and again the truth.

I find that sometimes people are not even honest with themselves and that comes from not wanting other people to see you in a certain way.

We are not defined by the roles that are expected of us. We are defined by the roles we create for ourselves.

There is someone who fits whatever roles you are creating for yourself and that person will help you achieve it not bring you down.

So start asking each other questions that you might not otherwise ask. Start learning about each other's real desires and beliefs and listen with a non judgmental attitude.

But the bottom line is being honest with asking and answering these questions.

Michael Webb has written a book "1000 questions for couples" with questions couples should ask each other. You will NOT find questions like "if you were a color, what color would you be" or "what is your most embarrassing moment".

About the Author

Love can be complicated and stressful if you let it be. Visit The Relationship Circle for information, resources, and articles on everything to do with relationships. Including friends, family, and lovers.